Most tweets should have zero. Occasionally, you should use one. In the rarest of circumstances, you can have two, but that's it. Ever.

Oh, Instagram? Same rules, although I've lost all hope for hashtag decorum in that madhouse.

Five stars means no room for improvement. Please stop expecting me to rate everything five stars. Four stars is not a failure. Four stars means everything went pretty well. Accept my four-star review gracefully instead of throwing a tantrum.

I didn't miss it, because I read all of my tweets. However, even if I did miss it, that means that's how I've chosen to use twitter, so missing it was intentional. Please stop it.